Through the years

I promised pictures updating since I completed chemo. I hate the way I look on the last day of chemo other than the smile of course. But it is my reality and I want to share it with others to know that many of us have been there.

March 30, 2007

March 30, 2008 (one year post chemo)

April 10, 2009 (two years post chemo)

I am still not where I was precancer but I know I will get there. Regardless of what the scale may say, I know I am a stronger person now then I was before. There is no stopping me and like my pink ribbon license plate says "IMTUF"!!!

First client

I have been assigned my first one and one personal training client. He is a cancer survivor and I am looking forward to spending time with him every week for three months to help him build up his strength again. I am so excited!!!

I have also been swamped with other projects including helping with public relations for the program. We have Channel 6 coming out to film in a few days and we will be on the News at Noon on Channel 7 on the 30th.

Then we will have a new LiveSTRONG group starting May 18th.

Looks like spring has sprung for the program!!! :-)

Do you ever really stop worrying?

So I have had this ache in the bottom of my right rib cage off and on for several months. I had my oncologist check it out and she didn't think it was anything to be concerned about and we would check it for sure at my annual chest x-ray in May. So we chalked it up to bruising or pulling the cartilage while working out etc. It was doing much better while I was down and out from surgery which makes since if it is from working out.

Now it is starting to come back and it causes a sense of worry in the back of my mind. It is hard to always push away the thoughts that the cancer may have spread to my bones. (Although this is on the opposite side so it is quite a stretch.) Finally, while at work the other day I noticed something. While reaching across my desk with my right arm to use my 10 key I would lean forward causing my ID badge to rub against the bottom of my right rib case. OMG! This pain is due to my badge and reaching across my desk. DUH! It makes total sense now. Why did I have to talk myself out of it being cancer instead of the other way around. Hopefully this lesson will help me let go of thinking that lingering headaches or other pains are signs that the cancer has returned. Of course the chest x-ray in a few weeks will help drive home the point as well.

And for now I am wearing my badge on the other side. I might have to start wearing it on a lanyard!

This is funny, sad and honest all at the same time

I Was Going to Succumb To Cancer, But Then I Got This Mylar Balloon

By Charlotte Pollard March 24, 2009 Issue 45•13

Greetings to all my favorite ladies! Please forgive me for not sending a thank-you note sooner, but the nurses at this hospital are always carting me from one place to the next, and I can never find a minute! Anyway, I just wanted to take a quick break from getting poisonous chemicals injected into my bloodstream to let you know how very, very much I appreciate the thoughtful Mylar balloon you sent me.
You guys are lifesavers. When I first came to the hospital—because I thought I had acid reflux and then, after a few tests, discovered I had advanced thyroid cancer—I didn't know if I'd ever recover. But that was before my friends, who are so incredibly considerate and kindly waited almost a month before reaching out to me at all, bought me this awesome balloon.
Suddenly I feel, like, 10,000 times better.
Just in the knick of time, too. I was about to rely on the loving support of family in combination with several rounds of targeted chemotherapy advised by my oncologist in order to fight the spread of the disease. But now, well, just look at that balloon floating around. Wheeee!
I knew I could count on my fellow teachers at Kentwood Academy to be there for me a few weeks after I needed them most. Honestly, though, I hope you weren't too put out. You really needn't have gone to all the trouble of sending me this plastic bag filled with air. Boy am I glad you did, though! It's so shiny, bobbing up and down there—I bet my cancer's going into remission already.
I'm sorry. My mistake. I said you "sent" me a Mylar balloon. That makes it sound like you went out and bought it, instead of just calling the hospital gift shop, asking what they had on clearance, paying for it out of petty cash, and having the clerk deliver it to me on her regular rounds. I just don't know what's going on in my head these days!
Oh, wait. I think the doctor called it "significant metastatic growth." But you already knew that. Which is why you sent this great balloon. Three weeks after I was diagnosed.
Thanks again!
Without it, how could I ever have found the strength to fight for my very life and for the chance to see my two young children grow up? Here I was, just lying around not trying to "Get well soon." What a helpful reminder! I can't tell you how much I owe you guys. Unless, of course, we're going by the price tag still hanging from your gift. In which case it's exactly $5.99.
My new balloon is so cheerful and buoyant, I can almost feel the cancer not ravaging my body. I love the way it hovers there, even though it's a little deflated now. It makes for a wonderful, ever-present reminder of how you just have to persevere and rise above the trouble life throws your way, no matter how bad things get. Best of all, the breeze from the air-conditioner makes it crinkle while I sleep!
You really shouldn't have. You could have just called, or all come by one evening as a group, or even just sent one person to visit at any point to represent those of you I've worked with for the past 11 years.
Look at me, yammering on about myself, and not even thinking to ask about you all. So, how are you? How is the implementation of the new attendance policy going? Mary, did you and your husband finish building your new deck? Any of you guys find out you have cancer?
Boy. A Mylar balloon. My little guardian angel hovering above my bed with its little pink string and its mirrored back side that reflects my own face back at me endlessly as I sit here with cancer. What would I do without it? Thank you so much.
You know, friends are what really matter in this life. Because when everything feels like it's falling apart, and you don't know what you're going to do or who to turn to for support—oh, and you have cancer—you can always count on your friends to expend the absolute minimum amount of effort and acknowledge your pain in the most perfunctory manner possible.
I only hope they have Mylar balloons in heaven

Excuses, Excuses

I have never been one to use excuses to justify my behavior - at least not a lot ;-) But I have come to realize that it appears I have been falling back on an excuse for the last year or so. I have been blaming Tamoxifen for my lack of weight loss. Now most studies say it does not cause weight gain but most women who take it would disagree. So I have just always excused my weight loss struggle with the Tamoxifen (and the fact that I have always had a low metabolism and struggled to lose weight). I am tired of it. It appears my metabolism is starting to pick up again so I need to let go of all my excuses and "Just do it".

Another "excuse" has been my struggle to get back into running since treatment. I was not a great runner before cancer but I was getting better all the time. Since cancer I have struggled with heart rate, breathing and aches and pains. I have blamed it on the chemo meds and the surgeries. I have been told they are valid reasons for my struggle but I am tired of it. I am actually running a bit better since this last surgery just over 3 weeks ago.

Running and weight loss seem to be my Achilles heel. Nothing else is as challenging for me as these two things. I fricking beat cancer so you would think losing weight and running a 5K would be a cake walk... Time to light a fire under myself.

Some one once told me that God gave us this body and one of the best ways to honor him and thank him for it is to take care of it - especially after surviving cancer... Something like this needs to be my new mantra while running!!!

T-shirts etc

I have had many people comment on my Hell Yeah they are fake T-shirt so I decided to start selling them. I have a few different shirts for sale at www.zazzle.com/jenn_poole* Check them out and check back often as I am just getting started.

Fundraiser reminder

Tomorrow is the big auction in Arizona for the Book Babe. There are currently several signed books that are being auctioned on line as well. Visit www.projectbookbabe.com to check it out!