It is a numbers game

I am so tired of fighting with numbers. I am feeling pretty good and getting tone and almost back into my prechemo clothes. BUT - I am still 20 pounds away from a healthy BMI weight at and at least 30 pounds away from a healthy weight for someone my age. My waist line is not going down and borders on the magic number that puts me at risk for heart attacks etc. I haven't checked my fat percentage lately but last time it was still way too high. People tell me I look good and don't need to lose weight. When I tell them I am considered overweight with an unhealthy waist circumference some seem surprised. Part of me wants to throw the scale and the tape measure and even my trainer's fat pincher but I can't. I am addicted to knowing the numbers. I don't measure all my success on those numbers but they certainly play an important role in it.