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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Split personality

Lately I have been pulled in many directions and I have been feeling like I am seen differently depending on the situation.  I have been nominated for the Idaho Business Review's Women of the Year which makes me feel so honored.  But then people comment that it couldn't be based on my main job that I do because no one would nominate me for just that.  Ouch...I have never done what I do for the rewards.  I work, volunteer etc because I love to help people.

Another is the fact that I am not a person who focuses on needing the best of things.  If I am healthy and my kids and spouse are healthy that is all that matters.  I don't need a fancy house, car, furniture etc.  But lately with the declining economy I am feeling like "white trash".  I know in my heart that it is unfair for me to judge myself this way.  I know my life it this way because I work hard to help others and not to necessarily earn money.  I have friends who are stressing about keeping cabins, and RVs, and $400,000 houses.  I don't have any of those things and I worry about paying my medical bills, having enough money for gas and food.  So some days I don't feel worthy of my friends who have money to go out to lunch etc.  It is hard on the ego.

2 comments:

Jill and Scott said...

I think life is so much easier to live if we keep it simple. Remember, none of this "stuff" is coming with us in the after life, but all the time and love that you have put into helping others and building awareness will for sure be rewarded in the here after!

Krista said...

Oh, boy, do I hear you... I feel a little bit like we're living in this surreal, Gatsby-esque society (where we're the sort who *don't* make an appearance). It can be very frustrating. But yeah, you're right that health is HUGE, and dialing back to basics and simple joys really is great in the long run. :)