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Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Bittersweet Morning

Today my youngest started school. She was so excited. I was excited for her but also sad because it means our Baby Girl is growing up. So we now have one in elementary, two in junior high, and one that just started high school! That is 3 different back to school nights! UGH!

While wiping away tears as I walked away from my daughter's classroom this morning I took a moment to thank God for helping me be there on her first day. I am not talking about being off work for surgery recovery on her first day, I am talking about His divine intervention that enabled me to find my cancer before it had spread, for the strength He has given me to fight the cancer and survive the treatment, and the numerous other blessings He has given to me (supporters, experiences, etc) throughout my journey.

A year ago I never would have thought there was a possibility that I wouldn't be there for her first day of school. Although I will want to continue to take my life in baby steps and enjoy every memory we create, I also am planning ahead to be here to see my grandkids first day of school!!! Cancer cannot and will not keep me from creating these precious memories!!!!

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Shape and texture

I knew I needed to do something with this mass of thick, curly hair so decided to give it over to my good friend/hair dresser to help me out. I couldn't bring myself to say I needed it "cut" and "thinned out" so we settled on the terms of "shaping and texturing" my hair into a more managable style. After being without hair for four month and then not having enough hair to style outside of a "buzz cut", it was strange to think of getting it cut and actually having style. It is still pretty short so we couldn't do much with it but the back had been growing faster then the top so Brenda evened it out. The back seems to be even curlier now!! I know the chemo curls won't last forever and I won't complain because at least I have hair now!!! Hopefullly the "shaping" will get it to grow even faster now. Fingers crossed!

Friday, August 24, 2007

BC and AD

When referring to a date in history you will see BC (before Christ) or AD (after Death). I have decided this initials have taken on new meaning for me.

BC is now "Before Cancer" as in my hubby and I went to Mexico 2 years before I got cancer.

AD is now "After Diagnosis" as in I am in now 10 months after diagnosis.

Not the way I want to reference my dates but cancer has impacted me so much over the last year that is it hard to not reference it that way.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Getting soft

Well I am trying to stretch at least my legs several times a day. Working my stomach is a bit more difficult since it can pull on my surgical area if I try sit-ups. I am doing what little I can to stretch with my arms as well. All thi isn't enough. I am getting "soft". I can see that I am already losing some tone and it is very frustrating. I know I can't push myself but I am hoping to find something to help me hold on to what I have already achieved.

My eating has been pretty good. We have received some premade meals from folks so I just watch my portions on those and then hope to stick to my menu plan the rest of the time.

Yesterday I met with my doc. She said I can drive but I can't go back to work yet. I still wear out too fast and still have some discomfort and the drain. Tomorrow I meet with the plastic surgeon so hopefully we can starting scheduling the next steps in this process.

I also set up an appointment with my hair dresser. I don't have alot of hair but it needs some shape and then we are going to play around with styling it. I am hoping we can come up with something cute. These days it is so thick and curly that there isn't much that can be done with it.

I am still trying to coordinate with Gold's Gym about travel dates for the calendar. My treatment and surgery times make it more difficult.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

A week later

It has been a week since surgery and I am moving around more but still tiring out fairly fast. Today my mom helped me out by taking the boys and I school clothes shopping. One more task for school done. Tonight we will go get some of the supplies (paper, pens, etc) while we are out refilling my meds. Tomorrow night we meet with the kindergarten teacher. We are almost ready to go!!! Soccer games also start this weekend so things are getting busy!

The fair is in town and I have always gone to it to at least people watch, have a corndog and churros, and just walk around. This year we won't be doing that for two reasons. One is the obvious that I just had surgery so I can't be out walking around in the heat and risking the crowds bumping into me. Second is that we went to Disneyland a month ago so we don't want to spend money on the fair after all the glory of Disneyland and California Adventure. I will miss my churros though! :-)

I am trying to keep my eating healthy since I am not working out. I am trying to walk a bit everyday and stretching out what limbs I can for exercise. Hopefully I won't have lost too much tone or gained any weight before doing the Gold's Gym calendar in 3 weeks!

Friday, August 17, 2007

Getting antsy already

I am starting to wean off the pain meds but I am still sore. I want off this couch but I am still tired. I can't drive anywhere yet so I am still just hanging out at home. I am trying to get caught up on movies and magazines while I am home but I will admit that I have been checking my work email several times a day as well. Two of the boys are home too and it doesn't take much for me to get annoyed with them.

More than anything I am starting to feel antsy about school starting in a week. We still have alot of things to get coordinated next week (kids doc appointsment, school supply shopping, meeting with he kindergarten teacher, starting soccer practices, etc) inbetween my post op appointment, my herceptin treatment and my appointment with the plastic surgeon. I just don't feel as organized or as in control when I am sitting at home on the couch instead of in front of my calendar etc. I know I will spend the weekend making To Do lists and meeting with the kids to make sure everyone is ready to go for school. At least it will help me feel productive.

I was going to go for a short walk today but my back was really hurting me. I will try to do something tonight but it might be tomorrow before I feel up to walking much. Getting out of the house will be nice too except it has been really hot here. Several friends came by to visit today and brought me a latte. It was great to be able to visit with them for awhile and get the scoop on what is going on in the outside world.

Well I promised my little girl that she could do my make-up so I better getting going and get "pampered".

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Home and resting

I am home from the hospital and doing well. I am still on pain killers but I feel better than I did after the last surgery. Of course this time the surgery was less involved. I am plenty tired and sore though. The pathology came back and it was cancer free! Tomorrow I plan to start walking on the treadmill in small doses. They also gave me some home exercises to do with my arm that will help with recovery but not over do it.

This is the beginning of a long process for reconstruction but it will be worth it!

Thanks to Jodi and Megan (from the challenge) for your thoughts and support!

Time to rest.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Surgery tomorrow

Early tomorrow I will be going in to have my other breast removed. I have had a few scares with it already and I don't want to do through this again if I can avoid it. It is just easier to have them both gone and get new ones. It will be a long drawn out process but it will be worth it. I have already talked with my trainer about what exercises/stretches I can do while at home on the couch for 2 weeks. Hopefully I will be able to walk in small amounts after just a few days. It will be awhile (at least 6 weeks) before I can really start lifting mroe than 10 pounds weights with my arms.

Did I mention that I was interviewed by another TV channel on Sunday. It was an ABC station doing to local tie in with the Good Morning America host who has breast cancer as well. They even talked about me being an inspiration for the Gold's Gym challenge. I am thrilled to inspire but I hope I can create awareness as well.

Better get some sleep. I have a long day tomorrow (of course I will be sleeping through most of it!)

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Interesting opportunity

I have been asked to appear in the 2008 Gold's Gym Calendar that shows people's before and after pictures and their bio. I am flattered that they think I would be great for this and that my story is inspiring. I have to admit that I am concerned about the fact that I am not even close to buff! I am still quite far from my goals so I am worried I will look out of place in the calendar. The other thing is that I have surgeries coming up so I am not sure how I will feel etc. I know I won't be able to wear tank-tops or swimming suits for the photo shoot. I have until Monday to decide and I will want to talk with the people to address my concerns before I commit to it.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Welcome to the new blog

I have never been someone who would take the time to blog or build my own web pages etc. After blogging for the Gold's Gym Body Makeover Challenge I have decided to try to keep the blog going here. Plus you can comment now!

I will continue to focus on my fitness challenges but I will also blog about my health challenges and surgeries, my challenges with trying to be a mom to 4 kids, a wife, a supervisor, and more while trying to put my health and well-being first.

Thanks for joining me on this wild ride!!!