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Sunday, October 24, 2010

October blues

Normally I love October!  I love Fall and I love Halloween.  But the days are getting darker, colder and shorter which always causes me to mellow and get a bit down.  The last several years there has been another factor that plays into my October blahs...  The two and half weeks between the anniversary of my cancer diagnosis and the anniversary of my mastectomy are always a struggle for me.  I try not to think about it but I will some times find myself reflecting on the blur of doctor's appointments, tests, crying, dealing with insurance, regrouping my obligations etc.  I rejoice in the fact that I am still here and going strong 4 years later but the memories haunt my dreams this time of year.  I guess it is similar to my friend.  She has nightmares and strange dreams for several weeks leading up to the anniversary of her mother's death.  I am glad it is basically only in my dreams that I stressing about cancer but dang I need some sleep and I am still a week away from my four year survivor anniversary.

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