So I have been in touch with a few old friends from high school. Most of this has been through email and Facebook although there are talks of lunches etc. It is so nice to catch up with them. In my mind, I still see them the way they were our senior year. If they ask to see a current picture of me, I send most of them the picture taken right before I started treatment. I was fairly thin with long red, blonde hair etc. Not to far removed from the way I looked 20 years ago - just updated and older. I don't think I look "bad" now but I am at point where people who see me can't tell I have been sick. They look at me and say why did she cut off all that wonderful hair and why did she gain so much weight. (Even the guy checking my ID and boarding pass at the airport commented about me cutting all my hair off!) UGH!!!!
People who have been through the journey with me know that I look a heck of alot better now than a year ago. And most of the time I really don't care what people think of me. Cancer taught me to let go of that. But this group of people is different. I know I shouldn't worry about what old high school friends think but remember how important appearance was in high school? I think I still attach this thought process to some of my old friends. Shallow? Maybe. We always want to impress those who knew us back then. I don't care what they look like but stress about what their response to me will be.
The fact is that almost two years ago I didn't know if I would be around to reconnect with high school buddies. So I should be thankful (and they should be thankful too) that I am even here to make the connection.