Today the family went to the local area water park. We had a great time and are exhausted after 5 hours in the water and sun. I did struggle a bit though. This is the first time I have been out in public in a swimsuit since my diagnosis. I have been to my cousin's pool and swam laps at the gym but not out in the public eye. I tried on all 4 swimsuits I had and none felt comfortable. My mastectomy swimsuit is now too big and it comes up to my neck anyway so I feel like a grandma. My "slimming" suit is from before cancer and about 25 pounds ago so I couldn't even get it on. I recently bought a bikini thinking with my new "girls" and slimmed down stomach I might be able to pull it off. Maybe with friends and family but I was too self aware in it to wear it around several 100 people. So I settled on my precancer tankini. It fit pretty good until we started going on slides. One side kept slipping because I don't fill it out the way I used to. I can't feel when it slides so I had to wear a t-shirt the whole time. I just kept thinking of Tara Reid and when her breast was revealed on the red carpet but she couldn't feel it because surgical scars etc. from her breast enhancement. That would have been me if I didn't have a the t-shirt. EEK!!!
I also noticed that in my age group most of the men have "beer bellies" and most of the women are pretty slender and wearing bikinis. So not fair. There were also ladies in bikinis who shouldn't have been . I thought if they could wear them then I should feel secure to wear one too. (When I lose another 10-30 pounds!!!)